Accomplishments of life: My top 10 goals for the future

I realized today by this time next fall, I'll be close to finishing my undergraduate education. Well, closer than I am now. I double majored and It's taking me forever and a day to finish. I'm hoping my suicidal decision will pay off one day. But I digress. Upon my impending graduation, I decided it is time to make myself a list of goals for the future. These are the top ten goals I hope to accomplish in the next 20 years. Check it:

1. Become the first Indian themed Lady Gaga - Lady Gaga is an iconic star known for her fantastical music and I would like to follow in her footsteps. I can launch a song/dance career. I have the ethnicity for it. I feel multi-colored/patterned saris, turbans, jewelry, an assortment of bindis and some bangra are in order. I happened to have an abundance of these things so I think it's possible. I just need some bangra dance lessons which I know my brown peeps will hook me up with. I'm also incredibly ridiculous and weird. WORD
2. Adopt twin Chinese babies when I'm 40 - I've always been told I shouldn't reproduce so this is my noble solution. I will name them Jebidaiah Dunphy and Phil Dunphy (Hyphen Kondur for both names). 
3. Create a master plan for a city - The city, Vibha Heights, will be the epicenter of culture. I will of course reside as mayor and put into place an entirely new system of government, one which allows all you can eat fast food places such as Taco Bell's for all those tired and drunk college students. 
4. Demolish golf courses - Golf is the most pointless "sport" (it should just be activity) and Tiger Woods became too much of a skank for me to even think it's remotely valuable or appealing to anyone. High maintenance rich people bother me to no end.
5. Get married? - If, one day, I find someone who chooses to love, honor and cherish me and all of my ridiculousness in addition to paying my bar tab and cooking for me, then I will give marriage a try. If not, I will own at least 5 dogs much like Robin Scherbatsky on HIMYM. If I get married and divorce appears on the horizon, I hope I'll be living in California when this happens and will not have a pre-nup and will therefore get half if not more of my soon to be ex-husband's money. California is after all a community property state. And they say Real Housewives of OC teaches you nothing. WRONG.
6. NEVER EVER EVER DYE MY HAIR - This one really should speak for itself. There's no way in hell I would look good as a blonde or a redhead. Hell, Rihanna couldn't pull off red hair what the hell would posses me to think I would? NOTHING. Raven haired locks for life. WORD.
7. Convince Ryan Reynolds he made a mistake marrying Scarlett Johanssen - I think this one speaks for itself. Scarlett Johanssen is a blonde whore and I despise her. Ryan Reynolds is meant to be with me. He just doesn't know it yet. 
8. Get my mom hammered. - My mother doesn't like to drink and chooses not to do so because she doesn't want to know what happens if she drinks. She always likes to be in control. My goal: to get her COMPLETELY WASTED. I will proceed to make her a drink and spike it and get her drunk. I will also get the entire scenario on tape. She loves orange juice so I'll make her a screwdriver only she won't know it. DYNOMITE!!
9. Learn to ride a motorcycle. - Again, one that speaks for itself. Motorcycles are BA and in Vibha Heights, they will be the most common form of transportation and because Vibha Heighs will be located in California where it's sunny all year round, you can ride it whenever. It will be a city ordinance. So shall it be written, so shall it be done. 
10. Take over the Trump Organization. - I'm sick of Donald Trump and the bad comb over he calls his hair. I think I could fire people off the Apprentice much more vehemently than he could. 

These are the goals I've set for myself along with a 20 year deadline. Oh the things I will accomplish...