Narcissism: 25 Shades of fantastical glory

Let's face the fact here: I'm awesome. Much like Newton's three laws of motion and the acceleration due to gravity, there is a proven theory to why I'm awesome. You may shake your head and say you know WAY more awesome people than me. WRONG. I am a glorious and fantastical masterpiece and here is why:

25. My hair is as smooth as silk.
24. I am double jointed.
23. I can move my body like a cyclone. What does this mean? I spin around in circles to generate wind so people may move in my glorious wake.
22. My way with words will lull you into a stupor, putting you into a hypnotic state of being.
21. I'm an awesome driver. Driving with me is much equated to going on the Millennium Force or the Magnum at Cedar Point. It's an adventure every time :)
20. I garner my inspirational dancing from two sources: napoleon dynamite and alcohol. They live together in perfect harmony.
19. I am not an only child. I have 30 sisters who I hold near and dear to my heart :)
18. I know how to knit. Scarf for Christmas? Oh fo sho ho :)
17. I am the product of genetic magic due to my parents. With their powers combined, I am Vibha "Awesome" Kondur. Word.
16. After googling myself, I came to find my name is also the name of a manufacturing and export company in India. They deal mostly with Engineering products.
15. After googling further, I came to find my name is also affiliated with a non-profit organization specializing with the health, education and opportunity of underprivileged children. ballin' fo sho.
14. I'm a player. I specialize in Jeopardy, block stacking and Geochallenge via facebook.
13. I watch copious amounts of TV, which therefore makes me an expert on certain TV shows such as Friends, HIMYM and Modern Family.
12. I am forgetful. This is bad you say? OH HELL NO! I can forget all your secrets so that they never see the light of day ever again. Locked up in the vault of Vibha never to be opened again.
11. I HATE CELERY. It should be banned as a vegetable. It's crunchy and gross texture makes me want to vomit.
10. I'm a Harry Potter fanatic. It's magically awesome :)
9. I want to plan. I plan to plan. I master plan. I'm going to be an urban planner. I'll one day build cities so amazingly awesome everyone will want to live there. Vibhaville, Vibhatown, Vibha Heights, Vibha Hills, West Vibha, New Vibha City, Vibha-cago, Vib-Francisco, you name it, I'll build it and you'll live there. Word.
8. I love beer in it's entirety. It truly is proof that God loves us and wants us to be awesome.
7. I'm fashionably late since I'm fashionably awesome.
6. I love me some round numbers. Their luscious curves and slopes fascinate me :)
5. One of the greatest reasons (it's top 5 for a reason) I'm awesome is because I know some incredibly awesome people: friends, family, co-workers and sisters. They helped make me as awesome as I am right now and will continue to increase in awesome exponentially.
4. I"m Sarge. Cross me and I'll come at you like a ninja.
3. I'm of the Asian persuasion that's sweeping the nation.
2. My parents are too cool for school.
1. I am brown.

Here you have it. Reasons why I'm awesome. Take it in as you wish. Play with it. Integrate it. Facilitate it. Beware of it. And remember...BE AWESOME :)